I am not okay.
I haven’t been okay for what seems like years.
And this year I have d e f i n i t e l y been a n y t h i n g but okay.
And that’s okay.
I live my life with a pretty positive outlook on things. I try to see the glass half full because if that shit’s empty then that means it’s time for another round! I smile through the pain, laugh through the tears and try not to get swept up in the sea of negativity that swirls around this world. It’s not always easy, in fact it’s almost never easy, but I still try.
In a world where the lines between social media and real life [cue Jake Owen] are as blurry as the pictures I took with a disposable camera at 4th grade summer camp, it's getting more and more difficult to separate the two. Everywhere around you people are getting married and having babies and getting promoted and traveling the world, while you’re eating leftover pizza for breakfast..and lunch..and your biggest accomplishment is that you didn't eat an Oreo because you just brushed your teeth. #adulting
Or maybe that’s just me.
But you know the feeling right? Everyone else seems to have a perfect life. Everyone else seems to be doing just fine. Everyone else seems to have their shit together.
But we all know that’s not the case. We k n o w that no one is perfect and that the stuff that is posted on social media only tells half the story--the good half. Couples don’t post photos of their quarrels, new mom’s don’t post pictures of themselves crying on the bathroom floor (at least that’s what I feel I’d be doing) and I don’t post about that one shitty Monday night when I watched 16 episodes of Friends and drowned my sorrows into a bag of popcorn and a “share” pack of Butterfinger bites.
Needless to say, the only sharing involved was from my hand to my mouth.
I haven’t been completely open about all the shit that’s gone down this year, but I will, in due time. There’s been a crap ton of lessons learned, life experiences and an overwhelming sense of feeling lost, alone and just plain miserable. While I feel completely confused and broken, I know in my gut that there’s a purpose in all of it. There’s a deeper, broader meaning to all of this. THERE HAS TO BE. I left the city of my dreams to embark on a new adventure in Colorado and somehow ended up here in Wyoming. And it’s not because I took a few wrong turns (although I do seriously suck at directions).
It’s because for whatever godforsaken reason, I was meant to be here. I was meant to go through what I went through and I was meant to come out on the other side a stronger and better person because of it.
So if you’re not okay, then join the club. We meet Mondays through Sundays, roughly 8-12 times a day. We cry. We nap. We sip on warm milk aka coffee. We’re kind of like newborn babies. But with more responsibilities and attiude. And more than that we remain calm and strong by knowing that this is not the end.
Because if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
[side note: this was said to be quoted by many people, including Ed Sheeran, so IDK who originally said it]